Energy Leadership Index - Level 4: Taking Charge of Your Own Life
- Sophie van het Erve
- Jul 17
- 7 min read
Have you ever worked with someone who just seemed to genuinely care? Someone who not just cares about their own success, but about everyone's success? They’re the kind of person who notices when a teammate is struggling and naturally offers support, who sees problems as opportunities to help, who approaches difficult conversations with curiosity rather than defensiveness?
Or maybe you've experienced this shift in yourself – that moment when you stop asking "How does this affect me?" and start asking "How can I contribute to making this better for everyone involved?"
This is the essence of Level 4 energy. It’s a natural orientation toward service, care, and compassion that transforms how you show up in every area of your life. It's where your focus expands beyond your immediate needs to include the wellbeing of others, not because you have to, but because you genuinely want to.
What is the Energy Leadership Index?
The Energy Leadership Index (ELI) is a research-backed assessment that measures how your energy shows up in two key scenarios: when you're under stress versus when you're performing at your best. It reveals your dynamic energy patterns across seven distinct levels—from destructive, draining energy to creative, life-giving energy. The ELI shows you both your stress defaults and your natural strengths, giving you the awareness needed to consciously choose which energy serves you best in any given moment.
Energy Leadership Index Level 4: “I Want To”
Level 4 energy is characterized by care, compassion, service, and genuine responsibility. The core thought pattern shifts from "I have to" to "I want to." I want to contribute. I want to help. I want to be part of the solution.
From this Level 4 energy, the world feels like a place where you can make a meaningful difference. Problems become opportunities to contribute. Challenges become chances to grow. Other people become partners in creating positive outcomes rather than obstacles to navigate around.
The emotional landscape includes feeling engaged, compassionate, responsible, and genuinely caring. Energy feels purposeful and directed. It's like shifting from cruise control to actively driving toward a destination you actually want to reach.
What Responsibility Looks Like vs. Blame and Shame
One of the most important distinctions in Level 4 is understanding the difference between responsibility and blame. Blame asks "Who's fault is this?" and usually comes with judgment, shame, and a desire to punish. Responsibility asks "What's my role in this situation and how can I influence it positively?"
Responsibility without blame looks like: "I notice I've been arriving late to meetings lately, which impacts our team's productivity. Let me adjust my schedule to be more respectful of everyone's time."
Blame with shame sounds like: "I'm such a mess. I can never get anywhere on time. No wonder people don't respect me."
Level 4 energy takes ownership without the self-attack. It acknowledges your role in creating situations without making you wrong for being human.
Level 4 is about accountability that leads to positive change rather than judgment that leads to shame spirals.
This extends to how you relate to others as well. Instead of "You always interrupt me in meetings," Level 4 might say, "I'd like to find a way for both of us to feel heard in these discussions. Can we talk about how to make that work?"
Level 4 Leadership in Action: Real Workplace Scenarios
Let me share how Level 4 energy shows up in common workplace situations:
The Missed Deadline Scenario: Instead of panicking, making excuses, or blaming others, someone operating from Level 4 might say: "I can see this project isn't going to meet the original timeline. Let me take responsibility for communicating with stakeholders about revised expectations and identify what support the team needs to deliver quality work."
The Difficult Colleague Dynamic: Rather than complaining about someone who's hard to work with, Level 4 energy asks: "What's my role in this dynamic? How might I approach this person differently? What do they need to be successful, and how can I contribute to that?"
When you’re operating from Level 4 energy you consciously choose how to respond in ways that serve the larger good, instead of just reacting to situations.
The Relationship Game-Changer: Accountability Without Defensiveness
Level 4 energy can transform relationships because it removes the defensive patterns that keep people stuck in conflict cycles. When someone brings up a concern, instead of immediately defending your position or counter-attacking, Level 4 creates space for genuine dialogue.
This might sound like: "I can see that my behavior in our last conversation didn't land well with you. Help me understand what you experienced so I can show up differently next time."
Or: "You're right that I've been distracted lately. I've been dealing with some family stress, but that's not an excuse for not being present with you. What would help you feel more connected right now?"
The profound shift is that you're no longer trying to be right or avoid being wrong.
You're trying to understand and contribute to solutions. This creates psychological safety for others to be honest with you, which deepens intimacy and trust.
Why Level 4 Feels Both Empowering and Overwhelming
Level 4 energy feels empowering because you're no longer a victim of your circumstances. You have agency. You can influence outcomes. You can contribute meaningfully to solutions. There's a sense of purposefulness that wasn't present in lower levels.
But it can also feel overwhelming because with great power comes great responsibility. When you realize how much influence you actually have over your experience, it can feel like a heavy burden. You can't blame others for your problems anymore. You can't wait for someone else to fix things. You have to step up.
There's also the challenge of caring deeply in a world that often doesn't seem to care back. Level 4 energy is naturally service-oriented, which means you feel others' pain and genuinely want to help. This can lead to over-giving, burnout, or feeling responsible for outcomes that aren't actually within your control.
The key is learning to care without carrying – to be genuinely invested in positive outcomes while recognizing that you can only control your own choices and responses.
The Service Orientation: How Helping Others Elevates You
One of the most beautiful aspects of Level 4 energy is its natural orientation toward service. This isn't service from obligation or guilt (that's Level 3), but service from genuine care and recognition that your wellbeing is connected to others' wellbeing.
This service orientation shows up in small ways: being the person who remembers to check in on a colleague going through a tough time, volunteering to help with a project that's struggling, or simply being someone others can count on for honest, compassionate feedback.
But it also shows up in bigger ways: choosing work that makes a meaningful contribution, advocating for policies that benefit everyone, or using your skills and resources to address problems you care about.
The beautiful paradox of Level 4 is that the more you focus on serving others, the more fulfilled you feel.
The more you contribute to solutions, the more meaningful your life becomes. The more you take responsibility for positive outcomes, the more personal power you experience.
Practical Exercises for Strengthening Your Level 4 Muscle
If you want to develop more Level 4 energy, you can try these approaches:
Practice the ownership question: In any challenging situation, ask yourself: "What's my role in this, and how can I influence it positively?" This isn't about taking blame for everything, but about identifying where you have agency.
Experiment with service: Look for small ways to contribute to others' success without expecting anything in return. Notice how this feels and how it affects your relationships.
Replace complaint with curiosity: When you notice yourself complaining about someone or something, pause and ask: "What might I not be understanding about this situation? How could I approach this differently?"
Practice accountability without defensiveness: The next time someone gives you feedback, resist the urge to explain or defend. Instead, say: "Help me understand what you experienced so I can learn from this."
Focus on contribution over achievement: Instead of just trying to succeed, ask yourself: "How can I contribute to everyone's success in this situation?"
Common Pitfalls and How to Navigate Them
Level 4 energy comes with its own challenges. Here are some common pitfalls and how to navigate them:
Over-responsibility: Taking on everyone else's problems or emotions. Remember: you can care without carrying.
Burnout from giving: Being so service-oriented that you neglect your own needs. Level 4 includes taking responsibility for your own wellbeing.
Impatience with others: Expecting everyone to operate from the same level of responsibility. Meet people where they are while modeling what's possible.
Perfectionism: Thinking you need to handle everything perfectly. Level 4 includes being compassionate with yourself when you make mistakes.
Level 4 is about conscious choice, not perfect execution. You're learning to respond rather than react, to contribute rather than just consume, to take ownership rather than assign blame.
From Problem-Solving to Opportunity-Creating
Level 4 energy is incredibly powerful because it transforms you from someone who experiences life to someone who actively creates their experience. You become the leader of your own life – not in a controlling way, but in a conscious, responsible way.
Your willingness to take responsibility, to care about outcomes beyond your own immediate needs, to show up with compassion and service – these qualities don't just change your life. They change the lives of everyone around you.
You become the person others turn to when they need someone who will listen without judgment, contribute without an agenda, and take ownership without blame.
Level 4 energy represents a fundamental shift in how you relate to your life and others. It's where you stop being a passenger and start being the conscious driver of your experience. This level of leadership – taking responsibility with compassion – is transformative both for you and for everyone in your sphere of influence. If you’re ready to take control of your journey, take the ELI assessment and book a debrief.
